I got my player to GM, and it was terrible
Dec 24, 2012 18:00:57 GMT -8
Post by henryhankovitch on Dec 24, 2012 18:00:57 GMT -8
I knew it was probably going to be bad. But I've been promoting the idea that every player in our gaming group should try GMing--a one-shot at least. So Bob says, "hey, I want to run a Deathwatch game!" And so he did.
Our group of power-armored Spess Mahreens is called in for another supar sekrit mission. Except this one is the most important. Because a High Lord of Terra had a VISION that we were to bring the FIVE KEYS to this strange planet and open the DOOR. And nobody knew what was behind the DOOR, but we we were assured it was the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR.
So we bring our KEYS, including the most important one held by a BIGGER SPACE MARINE who was also an NPC. And we go to the planet, and drop down to the surface, into a city. And so we walk for a while.
And then our psyker heard some people. And we kept walking. And he was still hearing people. And so we walked some more. And then we saw the people, and they were people. So somebody decided that FUCK IT, he was gonna shoot one. Then the people turned into a BERZERKER MOB and came rushing at us.
So we shot at the BERZERKER MOB and moved toward a door. (Not the DOOR, just a door.) And then we shot at the MOB and moved toward the door. And shot at the MOB and--yeah, about five rounds of that.
Then we were in a TUNNEL. And the psyker could hear people in the distance, so we walked some more. And then people started shooting at us from the sides, but it didn't matter because we're fucking SPESS MAHREENS and you gotta do a lot more than 1d10+3 damage to make us give a shit. So we ignored the people shooting at us and kept walking.
Then we came to a gate, where some bigger guns were ready to shoot at us. So we moved behind some cover and advanced toward the gate. For five rounds. And then we shot the guys ONE BY ONE, for another five or ten rounds of combat.
So then we finally get to the DOOR. But there was another MOB in front of it. So we plowed through the MOB to get through the DOOR, for about another five or six combat rounds.
"What are you doing this round?"
"I'm going to the DOOR."
"Okay, roll a DICE."
"I rolled a DICE."
"Okay, you get closer to the DOOR. There are people in the MOB trying to beat you up, but nobody cares because you're SPESS MAHREENS."
And then we put all the KEYS, including the most important KEY held by the very important NPC into the DOOR. And it opened, and there were WEAPONS AND SHIT inside. Lots of them. And also a stasis chamber where the MOST AWESOME SPACE MARINE EVER, TOTALLY had been frozen. So the IMPORTANT NPCs finally show up, so they can wake up the AWESOME SPACE MARINE, who will use all the WEAPONS AND SHIT to go fight the CHAOS that just now showed up.
And at that point all of us stopped playing, and I told the GM that my SPESS MAHREEN was going to see how long it took to kill himself by DEVOURING HIMSELF ALIVE.
This game was something like four or five hours long. By hour 2 I was realizing what a terrible mistake I had made, and was praying for the game to end. But we played the rest, because none of us was manly enough to stand up and say THIS SCENARIO IS SHIT, PLEASE STOP, I CAN HELP.
Our group of power-armored Spess Mahreens is called in for another supar sekrit mission. Except this one is the most important. Because a High Lord of Terra had a VISION that we were to bring the FIVE KEYS to this strange planet and open the DOOR. And nobody knew what was behind the DOOR, but we we were assured it was the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR.
So we bring our KEYS, including the most important one held by a BIGGER SPACE MARINE who was also an NPC. And we go to the planet, and drop down to the surface, into a city. And so we walk for a while.
And then our psyker heard some people. And we kept walking. And he was still hearing people. And so we walked some more. And then we saw the people, and they were people. So somebody decided that FUCK IT, he was gonna shoot one. Then the people turned into a BERZERKER MOB and came rushing at us.
So we shot at the BERZERKER MOB and moved toward a door. (Not the DOOR, just a door.) And then we shot at the MOB and moved toward the door. And shot at the MOB and--yeah, about five rounds of that.
Then we were in a TUNNEL. And the psyker could hear people in the distance, so we walked some more. And then people started shooting at us from the sides, but it didn't matter because we're fucking SPESS MAHREENS and you gotta do a lot more than 1d10+3 damage to make us give a shit. So we ignored the people shooting at us and kept walking.
Then we came to a gate, where some bigger guns were ready to shoot at us. So we moved behind some cover and advanced toward the gate. For five rounds. And then we shot the guys ONE BY ONE, for another five or ten rounds of combat.
So then we finally get to the DOOR. But there was another MOB in front of it. So we plowed through the MOB to get through the DOOR, for about another five or six combat rounds.
"What are you doing this round?"
"I'm going to the DOOR."
"Okay, roll a DICE."
"I rolled a DICE."
"Okay, you get closer to the DOOR. There are people in the MOB trying to beat you up, but nobody cares because you're SPESS MAHREENS."
And then we put all the KEYS, including the most important KEY held by the very important NPC into the DOOR. And it opened, and there were WEAPONS AND SHIT inside. Lots of them. And also a stasis chamber where the MOST AWESOME SPACE MARINE EVER, TOTALLY had been frozen. So the IMPORTANT NPCs finally show up, so they can wake up the AWESOME SPACE MARINE, who will use all the WEAPONS AND SHIT to go fight the CHAOS that just now showed up.
And at that point all of us stopped playing, and I told the GM that my SPESS MAHREEN was going to see how long it took to kill himself by DEVOURING HIMSELF ALIVE.
This game was something like four or five hours long. By hour 2 I was realizing what a terrible mistake I had made, and was praying for the game to end. But we played the rest, because none of us was manly enough to stand up and say THIS SCENARIO IS SHIT, PLEASE STOP, I CAN HELP.