Got uninvited from an online group, felt like ranting
Jan 8, 2018 21:00:31 GMT -8
Post by sovereigncitizenkane on Jan 8, 2018 21:00:31 GMT -8
So got uninvited from my weekly gaming group. Part of me is a bit relieved because the fun was steadily disappearing but it still kind of sucks because I felt the reasons I was uninvited were unfair. The two reasons I was given were my availability and my lack of roleplaying.
As to my availability, it came down to two sessions that I couldn't be there for the entire time. We normally game for four hours on Fridays. One session ended up going much longer. I think they ended it at seven hours in. I'm a single dad with two kids, so seven hours is something I can't do. I made that clear before I started playing. The second was an impromptu "Christmas" game (our characters faced off against some evil version of a Christmas legend). The Christmas game was scheduled for a Thursday, the day before. Before I'd even seen the message, everyone else had agreed to it. I was late that day because I work on Thursdays. The DM was fully aware of my schedule before that.
To the second accusation, it felt fair and unfair at the same time. The truth was, for the last three sessions I was phoning it in, and not doing a lot of roleplaying, but the reason for that was that I felt out of place and like all my attempts to do so were being shut down. I came into the group only really knowing the DM. I like the guy but his style of running games left something to be desired. There were a lot of DMPCs (Drow Monk Assassin, High-level warrior with a spear that threw lightning bolts, Kobold Paladin, etc.), and the other four players knew each other pretty well. They'd have 30-40 minute in-character conversations with each other, most often these were in one-on-one situations so no chance for me to get involved. When I went out of my way to try and get involved and have my own conversations with these characters I would get shut down after a few minutes.
When the DM asked for a detailed backstory I gave it to him, with what I thought was plenty of stuff to work. The only time anything I told him came into play was the end of the first session when my Dark Secret literally broke through a window, gave me a quest and then disappeared. This also happened in front of half the party who then went on to tell it to the other half, and this was a excuse for the rest of the characters to openly discuss about how my character couldn't be trusted. From that point on everything felt a bit antagonistic, which may have just been them really roleplaying, but at the same time it made me feel a bit more on the outside. I only really knew the DM and the others all seemed to know each other very well and had a very friendly dynamic. Most of what I tried to do, even when it was designed to help the party, was either ignored or seemed unwelcome. I felt like the only thing anyone wanted from me was to sit at the back and fire arrows.
As I said, the only time there was anything really focused on me was the end of the first session, and then the next five felt like they were pretty much devoted to one character. So between the DMPCs, long winded conversations, and the near complete devotion to one characters story, I honestly didn't feel like I had a chance to roleplay.
Maybe he wasn't entirely honest and there were other issues that weren't discussed, but I doubt it was any personal issues as I didn't really interact much with anyone outside of game time.
It seems weird to be upset about a game I wasn't having all that much fun in, but I guess I'm annoyed that I was tossed like I was the only problem.
I'm not really looking for validation, or an argument about who's right or wrong, and seeing it from the other side. Just felt good to write something where someone besides me would see it. Have fun everybody.
As to my availability, it came down to two sessions that I couldn't be there for the entire time. We normally game for four hours on Fridays. One session ended up going much longer. I think they ended it at seven hours in. I'm a single dad with two kids, so seven hours is something I can't do. I made that clear before I started playing. The second was an impromptu "Christmas" game (our characters faced off against some evil version of a Christmas legend). The Christmas game was scheduled for a Thursday, the day before. Before I'd even seen the message, everyone else had agreed to it. I was late that day because I work on Thursdays. The DM was fully aware of my schedule before that.
To the second accusation, it felt fair and unfair at the same time. The truth was, for the last three sessions I was phoning it in, and not doing a lot of roleplaying, but the reason for that was that I felt out of place and like all my attempts to do so were being shut down. I came into the group only really knowing the DM. I like the guy but his style of running games left something to be desired. There were a lot of DMPCs (Drow Monk Assassin, High-level warrior with a spear that threw lightning bolts, Kobold Paladin, etc.), and the other four players knew each other pretty well. They'd have 30-40 minute in-character conversations with each other, most often these were in one-on-one situations so no chance for me to get involved. When I went out of my way to try and get involved and have my own conversations with these characters I would get shut down after a few minutes.
When the DM asked for a detailed backstory I gave it to him, with what I thought was plenty of stuff to work. The only time anything I told him came into play was the end of the first session when my Dark Secret literally broke through a window, gave me a quest and then disappeared. This also happened in front of half the party who then went on to tell it to the other half, and this was a excuse for the rest of the characters to openly discuss about how my character couldn't be trusted. From that point on everything felt a bit antagonistic, which may have just been them really roleplaying, but at the same time it made me feel a bit more on the outside. I only really knew the DM and the others all seemed to know each other very well and had a very friendly dynamic. Most of what I tried to do, even when it was designed to help the party, was either ignored or seemed unwelcome. I felt like the only thing anyone wanted from me was to sit at the back and fire arrows.
As I said, the only time there was anything really focused on me was the end of the first session, and then the next five felt like they were pretty much devoted to one character. So between the DMPCs, long winded conversations, and the near complete devotion to one characters story, I honestly didn't feel like I had a chance to roleplay.
Maybe he wasn't entirely honest and there were other issues that weren't discussed, but I doubt it was any personal issues as I didn't really interact much with anyone outside of game time.
It seems weird to be upset about a game I wasn't having all that much fun in, but I guess I'm annoyed that I was tossed like I was the only problem.
I'm not really looking for validation, or an argument about who's right or wrong, and seeing it from the other side. Just felt good to write something where someone besides me would see it. Have fun everybody.