Summary of the Story So Far (5e)
Aug 24, 2018 4:33:42 GMT -8
Post by Zaszamonde on Aug 24, 2018 4:33:42 GMT -8
I ran across this thread on /r/L5R that covers what the current status of Rokugan as of FFG's new edition and thought people would be interested.
Written by Shiba Kumoru, may be biased (and probably is, since he has a Spider mon as his profile picture)
Crane: Couple a number of years ago a Tsunami fucked their lands, they lost all of their power in the court, burned all their favor, and are sitting in a rough spot as Lion are looking to fuck them in the ass over Toshi Rambo. Their champion was TOTALLY not murdered and Hotaru hated her father and thus wont do shit about it, her brother is the opposite.
Scorpion: Took sweet advantage of Crane's misfortune and is now the most politically powerful clan in the empire, Shoju was literally one of the Emperor's closest friends. Shoju feels that the scorpion are over stepping their bounds and wants to reign them in, his wife Kachiko says "fuck that, you should rule this pad" instead. Yojiro just wants mommy and daddy to stop fighting.
Lion: They want to fuck up someone's shit SOOO BAD. They are fighting the Crane for Toshi Rambo and have basically baited Unicorn into attacking them, giving them leave to go ham on the counter attack. Their previous champion died and his younger brother is a peace loving hippy, but don't worry, they tricked him into winning the Emerald Champion ship and becoming Rokugani Robocop so Matsu Tsuko can basically run the lion in his absence.... at least he has best waifu Kaede at his side.... oh yeah, she is having horrible nightmares of the future... fuck.
Crab: Life is shit, the enemies attacking the wall keep getting better and better organized and supplies keep dwindling. When the crab petition for aid they are politely told to shut up and get back to work because the empire apparently has other problems bigger then the armies of literal hell on their doorstep. Mantis are offering them supplies however in exchange for supporting them in the future, Yori is meddling around with hell beast biology and Kisada is just fucking tired of Rokugan's shit. Who knows what will snap first, the wall or the Great Bear's patience.
Phoenix: The Elements are crazy right now man, its that damn Unicorn magic turning the Kami gaijin. The emperor didn't believe them, but the Kaito found out that the Unicorn brought these Djinn shits into the empire that are partly to blame, so they were right after all. The master of Void disappeared and Tsukune is still best girl.
Dragon: They are like Pandas, quiet, yin and yang and they just wont do the dirty to make the babies. They must resort to promoting peasants into samurai. There is a peasant cult rising that is going to be a problem and their champion ordered Mitsu to lead an army south for plot reasons you wont know at this time. Last seen heading towards the capital and crane lands.
Unicorn: They are being fucked with by the Lion both politically and militarily because they are “different” and thus are ignorant to the ways of the empire, like a foreign exchange student being picked on by the bullies without fully understanding. The Unicorn champion decides to defend her culture and her son goes off to slaughter lions, only to realize it was a ploy that now allows lion to wreak their shit ten ways to Sunday. Also, their magic is making the Kami gaijin, the emperor didn’t ban it but they have to send away second best girl Shahai to divulge the secrets of an 800 year old tradition. Sucks to suck gaijin scum.
Imperials: The emperor is an old fart and is abdicating the throne. But he thinks his first born is a shitter (pro tip: he is) and his second born is a wiser and better child (which is true) he plans for Toturi to announce tomorrow that the emperor is abdicating and the younger heir is to be emperor, yet because younger heir is like 14, Shoju will rule as hand of the ki- I mean regent until that happens. Younger heir also has a puppy love for Shahai and Older Heir wont stop being a shitter.
Mantis: Yoritomo is raiding the crane lands because they are weak as fuck right now and are selling it to the crab for crab’s support in Mantis becoming a great clan.(edited)
Crane: Couple a number of years ago a Tsunami fucked their lands, they lost all of their power in the court, burned all their favor, and are sitting in a rough spot as Lion are looking to fuck them in the ass over Toshi Rambo. Their champion was TOTALLY not murdered and Hotaru hated her father and thus wont do shit about it, her brother is the opposite.
Scorpion: Took sweet advantage of Crane's misfortune and is now the most politically powerful clan in the empire, Shoju was literally one of the Emperor's closest friends. Shoju feels that the scorpion are over stepping their bounds and wants to reign them in, his wife Kachiko says "fuck that, you should rule this pad" instead. Yojiro just wants mommy and daddy to stop fighting.
Lion: They want to fuck up someone's shit SOOO BAD. They are fighting the Crane for Toshi Rambo and have basically baited Unicorn into attacking them, giving them leave to go ham on the counter attack. Their previous champion died and his younger brother is a peace loving hippy, but don't worry, they tricked him into winning the Emerald Champion ship and becoming Rokugani Robocop so Matsu Tsuko can basically run the lion in his absence.... at least he has best waifu Kaede at his side.... oh yeah, she is having horrible nightmares of the future... fuck.
Crab: Life is shit, the enemies attacking the wall keep getting better and better organized and supplies keep dwindling. When the crab petition for aid they are politely told to shut up and get back to work because the empire apparently has other problems bigger then the armies of literal hell on their doorstep. Mantis are offering them supplies however in exchange for supporting them in the future, Yori is meddling around with hell beast biology and Kisada is just fucking tired of Rokugan's shit. Who knows what will snap first, the wall or the Great Bear's patience.
Phoenix: The Elements are crazy right now man, its that damn Unicorn magic turning the Kami gaijin. The emperor didn't believe them, but the Kaito found out that the Unicorn brought these Djinn shits into the empire that are partly to blame, so they were right after all. The master of Void disappeared and Tsukune is still best girl.
Dragon: They are like Pandas, quiet, yin and yang and they just wont do the dirty to make the babies. They must resort to promoting peasants into samurai. There is a peasant cult rising that is going to be a problem and their champion ordered Mitsu to lead an army south for plot reasons you wont know at this time. Last seen heading towards the capital and crane lands.
Unicorn: They are being fucked with by the Lion both politically and militarily because they are “different” and thus are ignorant to the ways of the empire, like a foreign exchange student being picked on by the bullies without fully understanding. The Unicorn champion decides to defend her culture and her son goes off to slaughter lions, only to realize it was a ploy that now allows lion to wreak their shit ten ways to Sunday. Also, their magic is making the Kami gaijin, the emperor didn’t ban it but they have to send away second best girl Shahai to divulge the secrets of an 800 year old tradition. Sucks to suck gaijin scum.
Imperials: The emperor is an old fart and is abdicating the throne. But he thinks his first born is a shitter (pro tip: he is) and his second born is a wiser and better child (which is true) he plans for Toturi to announce tomorrow that the emperor is abdicating and the younger heir is to be emperor, yet because younger heir is like 14, Shoju will rule as hand of the ki- I mean regent until that happens. Younger heir also has a puppy love for Shahai and Older Heir wont stop being a shitter.
Mantis: Yoritomo is raiding the crane lands because they are weak as fuck right now and are selling it to the crab for crab’s support in Mantis becoming a great clan.(edited)