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Post by zoomfarg on Apr 11, 2017 3:42:38 GMT -8
For many seasons, the hosts have suggested having grown-up conversation with people at your table when you need to solve a problem. It's always seemed like good advice to me. I've had a couple that have gone well, and there are definitely times when I regret not having one.
But most of the time, after that advice to a listener, we don't hear a follow up. So I think it'd be pretty cool if there was some thematic follow up--an episode devoted to stories of those conversations, from both hosts and listeners. How'd they go? What happened? What would you do again? What would you do differently? That sort of stuff.
(Thinking about this because there was a success story from a recent episode.. I think the one where Stu suspected trolling. Too sleepy to remember the details atm)
(Also pleas call me out if I'm full of crap and it happens more than I think it does)
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Post by Kainguru on Apr 11, 2017 4:37:11 GMT -8
I think it's because the 'adult conversation' is so effective and, more importantly drama free, that no one really goes into it (or thinks about it anymore) once it's been had .... Aaron
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Post by zoomfarg on Apr 11, 2017 5:31:27 GMT -8
That's the hope!
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SirGuido
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Post by SirGuido on Apr 11, 2017 7:02:33 GMT -8
I think that a lot of the time that adult conversation has a tough time getting started because the person that they need to talk to doesn't act like an adult. For example...
I was in a pathfinder group with a VERY adversarial type GM. He constantly threw stuff at us to "win", his game had very little actual story to it was usually small encounter, pointless interlude, large encounter, repeat. He would get angry with us if a rule caused his session to go awry. Combats would be jaw numbingly long. One night(4 hour session) I got three turns in a combat, didn't get to do any roleplay really, nor did I get to do anything interesting. I rolled for damage 3 times for my spells. That was my session. We all would complain to each other after the game when he would leave. Did the for MONTHS until someone finally said ok we need to do this and they pulled him aside to talk. I don't think the guy that GMd that game has thrown such a drama filled hissy fit. It was pathetic.
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Post by uselesstriviaman on Apr 11, 2017 8:43:18 GMT -8
I can't really give any firsthand accounts, but at work I pass along the podcast's sage advice to a neophyte GM who I've kinda taken under my wing. When he discovered I'm a veteran gamer, he began stopping by to talk GMing and hit me up for ways to improve his game and get solutions to some table problems. (Lack of party cohesion, frustrated players, etc.) All I did was parrot the HJ hosts - whom I totally credited - and offered suggestions on ways to improve his game.
It was kinda awesome when he reported that the advice worked brilliantly. The intra-party butting of heads vanished after having adult conversations with individuals and with the table, and all of them had a lot more fun.
Made my grinchy GM heart swell, it did.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 23:32:49 GMT -8
I think that a lot of the time that adult conversation has a tough time getting started because the person that they need to talk to doesn't act like an adult. For example... I was in a pathfinder group with a VERY adversarial type GM. He constantly threw stuff at us to "win", his game had very little actual story to it was usually small encounter, pointless interlude, large encounter, repeat. He would get angry with us if a rule caused his session to go awry. Combats would be jaw numbingly long. One night(4 hour session) I got three turns in a combat, didn't get to do any roleplay really, nor did I get to do anything interesting. I rolled for damage 3 times for my spells. That was my session. We all would complain to each other after the game when he would leave. Did the for MONTHS until someone finally said ok we need to do this and they pulled him aside to talk. I don't think the guy that GMd that game has thrown such a drama filled hissy fit. It was pathetic. I did this in reverse! I become a total shithead once I become frustrated enough (no one would suspect, huh? ). I was in a friends pathfinder game and was really unhappy for months. Well, the rest of the group was still happy with the game (some people are masochists, that's the only explanation I can come up with). Anyways, my buddy came to me and asked me to step out. My frustrations were spilling over and making it less fun for the other people. I was really only holding on because I love to roleplay. So even though I was massivly unhappy I had stuck around when I should have dipped out. I had no issue dropping, and me and him are still buddies to this day. We've even played together in other games. So I guess I was having a hissy fit until I got 'kicked'. Pathfinder just turns me into a jerk (or more of a jerk, depending on how you look at it, lol).
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SirGuido
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Post by SirGuido on Apr 12, 2017 6:35:03 GMT -8
I think that a lot of the time that adult conversation has a tough time getting started because the person that they need to talk to doesn't act like an adult. For example... I was in a pathfinder group with a VERY adversarial type GM. He constantly threw stuff at us to "win", his game had very little actual story to it was usually small encounter, pointless interlude, large encounter, repeat. He would get angry with us if a rule caused his session to go awry. Combats would be jaw numbingly long. One night(4 hour session) I got three turns in a combat, didn't get to do any roleplay really, nor did I get to do anything interesting. I rolled for damage 3 times for my spells. That was my session. We all would complain to each other after the game when he would leave. Did the for MONTHS until someone finally said ok we need to do this and they pulled him aside to talk. I don't think the guy that GMd that game has thrown such a drama filled hissy fit. It was pathetic. I did this in reverse! I become a total shithead once I become frustrated enough (no one would suspect, huh? ). I was in a friends pathfinder game and was really unhappy for months. Well, the rest of the group was still happy with the game (some people are masochists, that's the only explanation I can come up with). Anyways, my buddy came to me and asked me to step out. My frustrations were spilling over and making it less fun for the other people. I was really only holding on because I love to roleplay. So even though I was massivly unhappy I had stuck around when I should have dipped out. I had no issue dropping, and me and him are still buddies to this day. We've even played together in other games. So I guess I was having a hissy fit until I got 'kicked'. Pathfinder just turns me into a jerk (or more of a jerk, depending on how you look at it, lol). Yeah, honestly I did something similar. I was just so frustrated that at some point it just became my goal to piss him off every session. My character had a Rod of Wonder he'd picked up at one point that he just loved. I decided that he fell in love with what he called "Chance Magic". The idea that the magic chose what it wanted to do. So he started using the Rod of Wonder as his primary item in combat. No matter the situation, no matter the need. Oh so Grimjunk the dwarf could really use a buff right now? Well, lets see what the magic wants... (Roll....) butterflies, the magic wants butterflies! Etc. I prematurely ended quite a few major encounters that way by roll flesh to stone more than once.
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Post by Kainguru on Apr 12, 2017 8:25:15 GMT -8
It might be that those 'adult conversations' weren't 'adult'. If you look at transactional analysis what you want is to start communicating as an adult, so it is reciprocated - often though people start what is called a 'parent - child' interaction (mistaking the 'parent ' approach for 'adult') and that's when it devolves as the responder takes on the 'child' role. It's an easy trap to fall into and the hardest part of successfully using TA to resolve conflicts . . . Aaron
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Post by sovereigncitizenkane on Apr 27, 2017 13:33:14 GMT -8
The adult conversations I've had with some GMs usually goes no where an I end up deciding whether or not I can get over the issues cropping up. I've usually just ended up leaving these groups.
The two that stand out were the creepy pervert, railroader. And the ineffective railroader, that demanded a new character from me after every session because I was doing too well.
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Post by chronovore on May 10, 2017 5:20:37 GMT -8
The last time an adult conversation would have benefited my RPing experience was when our Pathfinder game's DM had a hissy fit that lasted the entire session. I've mentioned it in other threads. It's possible that @stevensw is correct: Pathfinder makes people behave badly; or it's possible that the module was beginning to wear thin, as we were playing 2 hr. sessions on a weekly basis, but we sometimes skip weeks, and NONE of us could remember the various political plottings going on in the Adventure Path.
I'll tell you though: worst session of my life. It was a Google Hangouts call, and I knew if I hung up, I probably would never talk to this person again, so it felt like an investment to stay on the line and see how the storm might clear. He's a proud guy and hasn't apologized, and I think he'd recoil if he had to confront it in front of the group. Perhaps one of these days I'll have a Discord chat with him over Hearthstone and see if he wants to talk like a grown-up.
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