tomes
Supporter
Hello madness
Posts: 1,438
Currently Running: Dungeon World, hippie games, Fallout Shelter RPG hack
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Post by tomes on Jan 25, 2018 20:13:10 GMT -8
Looks like Adam Koebel just read the question I sent in a few months ago for his Office Hours:
How do you deal with this issue?
FYI... question #3 is also a doozy!
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Post by akavidar on Jan 25, 2018 20:40:53 GMT -8
Don't dwell on your mistakes, just be aware of them and try not to make them again. If you are on YouTube, or in Public, be aware that many a-holes like to comment. The main thing is, did the players have fun? I also recommend taking notes.
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Post by OFTHEHILLPEOPLE on Jan 26, 2018 14:21:05 GMT -8
I love Adam. He is my big, pink haired, spirit animal. And I agree with akavidar. You're going to make mistakes, whether in gaming or in life. It's inevitable and your animal brain will remind you about your mistake over and over again at the worst of times in the future. But you have to remember to move past it, learn from it, and do better. Remind yourself that "You got this", "You can do this", and "That was then, this is now". Be the better you.
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Post by greatwyrm on Jan 27, 2018 7:18:15 GMT -8
I used to get this feeling a lot (I still do sometimes). It was actually my wife, a devout non-gamer, who got me past it.
Me: Wow, nothing went right tonight. I don't know why these guys keep coming back.
Mrs.: It sounded like you were all having fun in there.
Me: Ya, everybody said they had a good time.
Mrs.: Then what the hell is your problem?!
And, of course, she was right. Nothing went like I expected, planned, or wanted, but the players had a ball. That's kinda the point, right?
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Post by akavidar on Jan 28, 2018 11:06:42 GMT -8
It isn't a question of "Will I make a mistake?" It's more of "How many mistakes will I make, and how do I avoid making them again?"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2018 22:57:15 GMT -8
I used to get this feeling a lot (I still do sometimes). It was actually my wife, a devout non-gamer, who got me past it. Me: Wow, nothing went right tonight. I don't know why these guys keep coming back. Mrs.: It sounded like you were all having fun in there. Me: Ya, everybody said they had a good time. Mrs.: Then what the hell is your problem?! And, of course, she was right. Nothing went like I expected, planned, or wanted, but the players had a ball. That's kinda the point, right? There is fun that is because of the game and fun that is because of the people at the game. The reason most of us feel this way is because we are trying to ensure we are creating fun, not just the place for people to get together and laugh. The fact that it isn't easy to separate the two is what creates the nagging sense that the fun was in spite of the game, not because of it. Worry is a good thing. I can tell you I've only met one GM who was hyper confident in themselves. They had no reason to be confident, quite the opposite actually. Being concerned is a sign that you know enough to question and seek improvement. It may not be the most comfortable feeling, but you can take solace in the fact that you aren't "that GM".
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Post by chronovore on Feb 3, 2018 21:15:35 GMT -8
I'm probably just an old fart, but that dude's hairstyle, facial hair, and other grooming decisions cause me to approach anything leaving his pie-hole with skepticism.
Even so, i agree with his response to It's-a-doozy Problem #3. There are a number of problems they had to face in that situation, and all of them contributed to the epic failure of that campaign. As a guy who managed to unintentionally terrify his own sister out of roleplaying games entirely, I can empathize.
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jebnotjib
Initiate Douchebag
Posts: 30
Preferred Game Systems: GURPS, baby!
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Post by jebnotjib on Feb 13, 2018 18:34:14 GMT -8
I miss the days when I thought I was the best GM there ever was, simply because I was the most popular GM among my group of friends. Now I realize that while I was pretty good, there were sooooo many ways I was dropping the ball.
Nowadays, I'm a lot harder on myself. I still think I'm a good GM, but I'm constantly second-guessing my choices because I don't have that old feeling of awesomeness. Of course, I'll NEVER have that feeling again, that's just nostalgia talking.
God, self-awareness sucks sometimes.
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Post by chronovore on Feb 13, 2018 20:33:19 GMT -8
Man, that's just growing up, isn't it? I mean, as a teenager I thought I knew it all and now I know that I don't know much.
Second-guessing's a different problem. That's just a habit. You can break habits!
We can never squeeze our brains back into smaller, more ignorant containers. Well, not without chemicals…
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GM Radio Rob
Apprentice Douchebag
Posts: 64
Currently Playing: Nothing yet.
Currently Running: Deathwatch
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Post by GM Radio Rob on Mar 1, 2018 12:47:55 GMT -8
It isn't a question of "Will I make a mistake?" It's more of "How many mistakes will I make, and how do I avoid making them again?" I don't know why, but when I read that quote I suddenly had a flashback to Invader Zim: "I didn't make the fires worse! "I made them better..." Probably not helpful, but the idea "Sure, make the same mistakes again, only next time, make 'em awesome!" is stuck in my head now...
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Post by Stu Venable on Mar 8, 2018 17:21:33 GMT -8
Second guessing is a kind of self-awareness. It’s introspective. I think a good GM is always going to ask themselves, “did I make the best choices?” and if the answer is no, “what could I have done differently, and is there a broader lesson from this?”
That’s good stuff and leads, I think to self-improvement.
When the inner dialog becomes, “I really shouldn’t GM, I suck at this,” in other words, you’re beating yourself up about it, then the second guessing isn’t helpful.
We should all try to improve, but being dissatisfied because you aren’t perfect is futile.
There are no perfect GMs.
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SirGuido
Supporter
Drizztmas Santa
Ask me about the Drizztmas Exchange!
Posts: 2,127
Preferred Game Systems: L5R, Traveller, Fate Accelerated, Masks
Currently Playing: Nothing.
Currently Running: Nothing.
Favorite Species of Monkey: Anything in a Cage.
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Post by SirGuido on Mar 9, 2018 19:05:47 GMT -8
I don't. Or, at least I haven't yet. I still constantly doubt myself. Literally every time I run a game I think about things I did that could have been better. When I used to run regularly for an actual home group, my drive home was always my self flagellation time. I would think about the session and how I had imagined it going, and how much it differed, and then think of (in my mind) better ways I could have handled things. I can't tell you how many times I have asked people I've run games for to seriously critique me and give me honest constructive criticism only to get "Dude, you did great what do you want more?" as a response. Now, there was one specific instance that made me start thinking that maybe I was actually pretty decent as a GM. It was an L5R game. *Puts on his gaming story hat* I had a player who created this Crab bushi with a stellar backstory. As a child, both his father and his mother were lost in a raid on the Shadowlands. The family daimyo led that raid and felt responsible for leaving this young boy as an orphan. He also had a daughter whom he felt could do with a like minded playmate to train with and learn with as she was a bit... wild. So the daimyo adopted the young boy and raised him. The boy grew up training beside his "little sister" and went on to serve on the Wall himself. Again, during a fight against the Shadowlands that he was leading, his sister was taken. He requested seppuku but his adopted father denied him, and instead cast him out and roninized him so he would be forced to live with his failure. During the game I had decided to have the party face a group of The Lost(irrevocably Tainted samurai). So they are fighting and I describe one of The Lost as wearing armor of a Crab, but all the mons had been scratched away. Just sort of reinforcing the danger of the Taint. The player kinda went silent. At that point I decided that this enemy was going to be his little sister. Completely and utterly taken by the Taint. I didn't say that to the player, but I would make little comments. Like how he recognized the fighting style. The mempo looked familiar. Etc. He immediately started fighting more strategically instead of just trying to kill her. Fight ended with him having grappled her and torn the mempo off. He was then faced with the graying sort of half decaying face of his little sister. That one scene led to several sessions of them taking her back to Crab lands so that he could return the daimyo's daughter just as he'd promised. Eventually the daimyo forgave him and allowed him back into the Crab so he could commit seppuku and cleanse the dishonor. After that final session I was very annoyed that I ended up causing the player to lose his character. I apologized at the beginning of the next session and the player said to me "Are you kidding me? That was one of the best moments I've ever had as a player. It was incredibly emotional to be able to bring his backstory full circle. I love that you let me do that." That was the moment that I realized two things. 1. That I'm stupid and will never be happy with anything I do at a gaming table and just need to deal with it. and 2. I'm actually pretty damn good at improvising. So, take that how you want. But yeah, I've never dealt with my inferiority complex and I doubt that I ever will.
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Post by chronovore on Mar 10, 2018 17:55:29 GMT -8
Yeah, you're a self-flagellator, for sure! Just reading that, I got chills, knowing how awesome it would be for me as a player to experience that kind of backstory integration. You did great!
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bobcatt
Apprentice Douchebag
Patron
An infinite number of monkeys can't be wrong...
Posts: 81
Preferred Game Systems: AD&D 1e, 2e, 5e, Top Secret/S.I., Classic Traveller
Currently Playing: nothing at all :-(
Currently Running: completely stalled doing 5e via Roll20
Favorite Species of Monkey: Barrel of
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Post by bobcatt on Mar 16, 2018 11:44:19 GMT -8
I spend way too much time coming up with (what I think is) an interesting premise and prepping for possible actions the players will take, then feel rushed and inadequate when they choose "none of the above" and proceed to charge ahead. I feel that my games are always on the verge of falling apart. I realise that there is no way to prep for every possible plot direction, but I baulk at doing little or no prep beforehand and hoping for the best completely off-the-cuff.
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Post by Stu Venable on Mar 27, 2018 20:07:36 GMT -8
FYI, Fear the Boot's current episode is about just this topic (specifically Imposter Syndrome).
They did a very good job of covering the topic.
I especially identify with Chad's advice: fail fast. If it's not working, end it and start again.
And if any of you are active in the FtB community, let them know, we're totally down for another host exchange (even if lawn mowing is part of the exchange -- Stork has lots of airline miles stocked up).
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