Caucasian Adventures!
Apr 1, 2012 13:24:21 GMT -8
Post by tappy on Apr 1, 2012 13:24:21 GMT -8
this is not new, but I was reading this yesterday, and I wanted to share some of the jewels with all of you.
www.story-games.com/forums/comments.php?DiscussionID=3548
the basic premise is "what if game designers approached western culture in a fantasy RPG as the do with the exotified sterotypes in fantasy RPGs based on eastern culture?"
Though all of the Caucasian gods have devoted followers, some go to greater lengths than most. These individuals are known as Initiates. Any worshiper with a Devotion rating greater than 6 qualifies to select an appropriate Initiate feat, but beware! Only the loyal can maintain the benefits (see chapter 12: faith and heresy).
An Initiate of a god qualifies for all of the god's Martial Combat feats and proficiencies as though they were a monk or nun of that god.
Initiate of Prometheus
Initiates of Prometheus are advocates of technology and mechanization. Recently, the faithful of Prometheus have been called upon to venture beyond even the land itself, as their god did. The Initiates of Prometheus are at the forefront of this movement, and, despite setbacks, are working on a great ship that will carry them to distant home of their god.
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Evangelical damage, and receive a bonus die on Progressive damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Prometheus feat may treat all spells with the [Fire] descriptor as spells known.
Initiate of Thor
Initiates of Thor are great hockey players, firefighters, and construction workers. Many of the strongest of Thor's Initiates compete in a continual set of wrestling tournaments held in Thor's honor - raucous spectacles that are often interrupted by other Initiates. Nevertheless, these tournaments are the cornerstone of daily worship for Thor's faithful. The ranks of Thor's Avengers are drawn from the winners of these tournaments, and to be one of Thor's Avenger's is the highest honor an Initiate of Thor can dream of.
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Slamming damage and Submission damage, and receive a bonus die on improved weapon attack rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Thor feat may treat all spells with the [Wrestling] descriptor as spells known.
Initiate of Santa Claus
Wealth is the domain of Santa Claus, so it is only proper that the Initiates of Santa Claus are among the wealthiest of all Caucasians. Following their god's example, Initiates of Santa Claus are always plump and finely dressed, and carry large bags of wealth. These bags are usually labeled to indicate the amount contained, such as 50 lbs. for a bag containing 50 pounds sterling (see chapter 4: daily life in Caucasia). Initiates of Santa Claus use these bags to smite their enemies and reward loyalty in their servants and slaves.
Benefit: Initiates of Santa Claus are immune to Frosty damage, owing to their mastery over snowy monsters, and receive a bonus die on Pragmatic damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Santa Claus feat may cast all spells with the [Sterling] descriptor as though they were two levels higher.
Venus - Goddess of Beauty
Stunning and captivating, Initiates of Venus bring joy and strife in equal measures. Regardless of what they use their talents and abilities for, Initiates of Venus are always able to bring attention to themselves. They regularly take part in strange sexual rites which are recorded and used as part of daily worship among Venus's faithful (see chapter 19: the interweb-net).
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Psychoanalysis damage, and receive a bonus die on Binding attack rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Venus feat may treat all spells with the [Cosmetician] descriptor as spells known.
Jesus - God of the Sun
Initiates of Jesus promote the traditional ways of Caucasian culture. As the oldest Caucasian god, Jesus favors the old ways, and his Initiates fight against those who would alter them. They seek to bring the ways of the Sun God to the forefront in all things. Jesus, acting through important Caucasian leaders, regularly delivers orders and directions to his Initiates, and the Initiates of Jesus are always quick to respond.
Benefit: Initiates of Jesus are immune to Progressive damage, and receive a bonus die on Evangelical damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Jesus feat may treat all spells with the [Sun] descriptor as spells known.
The Holy Ghost: God of Death.
Initiates of The Holy Ghost have learned the secrets of time and decay, and many use this to remain perpetually young in appearance. They attempt to convert temples of other gods, most often Jesus, to their faith, and use them as the sites of their Midnight Masses and cannibalistic rituals of blood-drinking and flesh-eating. As masters of undeath, they have the power to transform ordinary matter into undead fluids and tissues. Many Initiates wear elaborate makeup, tall hats and robes, and other disguises to hide their true identities.
Benefit: Initiates of The Holy Ghost are immune to Traditional damage, and receive a bonus die on Existential damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of The Holy Ghost feat may treat all spells with the [Gothic] descriptor as spells known.
[note: to keep the game accessible to most gamers, I really think we should root the classes strongly in the time-tested Caucasian classics. Now, I know we can debate endlessly as to whether Bankers or Shylocks are really more important to Caucasian culture, but let's try to move past the minutia and keep our eyes on the big picture. I've wrote up a quick introductory section for gamers who aren't familiar with the Caucasian cannon. I know these Top 3 lists always start a flamewar, but I think history has borne me out here. Anyway, we can always stick other important films, magazines, etc... in the Secondary Sources list. And yeah, I know they're all movies - but it's much quicker and easier to get a new gamer into Caucasian culture with a movie than by telling them to read a dozen books.]
Primary Sources
If you're new to Caucasian culture, don't worry! It may seem intimidating, but take the time to bone up a bit and you'll be "mixing it up" like a pro in no time. Here's the three movies that we feel best represent Caucasian culture and the Caucasian cannon. You can find them at most rental stores with a good foreign selection.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
This is a very popular movie among Caucasians, and its easy to see why: it gives a great overview of the geography of California and Virgina, with their sweeping deserts and harsh plains. The main characters are all Cowboys of various Caucasian races - Angel Eyes is a clearly a Roman, Tuco's high Insulation score marks him as a Vinlander, and Blondie's mysterious powers mark him as an Aslandian. They are all worshipers of Santa Claus, on a great quest to find a store of wealth to ensure their god's good graces. It's also an excellent depiction of authentic Caucasian fighting styles. There are also several other classes depicted, including the Soldier, Dealer, and Monk/Nun. All in all, it's a great source - go find it!
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
This wonderful movie provides two big benefits to the newcomer to Caucasian culture - plenty of information about Surfers, and an overview of Caucasian history. Two surfers, Bill and Ted, explore Caucasian history as they quest to fulfill a Prophecy of Prometheus. Since Bill and Ted themselves are both clearly worshipers of Thor, it's also a good example of how different faiths can work together in Caucasian culture. Almost every one of the core Caucasian classes and races are in this movie at some point. It's not as in-depth as the other two Primary Sources, but it makes up in breadth what it lacks in depth. We can recommend this one highly enough. Though its a bit hard to find, you should definitely take the time to seek it out. If you can find the sequel, you're in for a treat - a close encounter with The Holy Ghost himself!
Short Circuit
This movie is a passionate and controversial examination of modern Caucasia's most turbulent minority group - robots. While these second-class citizens are derided in many movies as cruel villains and dimwitted thugs, Short Circuit gives a decidedly more understanding treatment. Through a metaphoric "awakening," Johnny 5 and his non-robot peers come to understand and respect each other. In addition to exploring these all-too current cultural issues, the movie has an excellent example of a Vinlander Scientologist who helps "create" Johnny 5 (he's a worshiper of Prometheus, like many Engineers and Scientologists) and several Agents (though they keep their more interesting abilities in check).
Caucasia's material prosperity comes at a terrible price. While it may appear that merchants, artisans, and shopkeepers buy and sell freely, in truth their every action is dictated by the sorcery of the Invisible Hand. This secret society is also known as the Freemasons or the Jews: the former for their massive, foreboding temples built at no cost by conscript labor (hence "free masonry"), the latter for their secret troves of gems and jewelry. In their fortified marble vaults, or "banks," the Order holds magical "mortgages" (literally "death gauges") on almost every home in Caucasia, which they can use to cause the windows and doors to seal up, trapping the hapless inhabitants in a process known as foreclosure.
The Order of the Invisible Hand uses its power to ruin not only individual businesses that defy its will, but entire cities and even nations. Their minions, the diminutive but deadly Gnomes of Zurich, strike for double damage from behind but will flee from a face-to-face fight. Against the most serious threats, they frequently hire the heavily armed Cowboys of Big Oil.
The leadership of the Order is notoriously secretive, but key figures include the wizened oracle Alan Greenspan; the undying sorceror Paul Voldemort; the 13th-level Jew Henry Fnord, who prophesied that the people could have whatever they desired, as long as it was black; the anti-paladin warlord General Motors, notorious for declaring that whatever is good for him is good for the country; and E.F. Hutton, whose sorcery compells people to listen whenever he speaks.
Their arch-enemies are Karl Marx and his mad Marx Brothers, who along with their ally, the 10th level Bard/3rd level Ideologist John Lenin, quest endlessly to destroy the Order's its most sacred artifact, the Hand of Smith. The Hand is said to have belonged to an ancient necromancer named Adam Smith who wrote the Order's holy book, The Wealth of Nations. It is rumored that Smith made himself into a lich and still rules the Order from a secret catacomb deep beneath Wall Street in Caucasia's capital, the dread City of London.
Caucasian names can be confusing to the modern ear. Here's a handy list of names to generate an authentic-sounding caucasian name in seconds! Just roll once on each table to generate a first and last name. Optionally, you can generate a "middle" name as well.
First Names:
John
Olaf
King
Hans
Sparhawk
Smith
Frigg
A.
Archibald
Hera
Percivale
Odin
Lancelot
Elvis
Jean
Wendy
Joan
Helga
Francis
Saint
Last Names:
Chaplin
Churchill
the Conqueror
Svensdottor
of Eastwick
Hendrix
Junior
Bolton
Esq.
Stewart
O'Rielly
von Trapp
Kevin
D'eath
Difranco
from "Friends"
Man
Gabriel
and the News
Smithson
www.story-games.com/forums/comments.php?DiscussionID=3548
the basic premise is "what if game designers approached western culture in a fantasy RPG as the do with the exotified sterotypes in fantasy RPGs based on eastern culture?"
Though all of the Caucasian gods have devoted followers, some go to greater lengths than most. These individuals are known as Initiates. Any worshiper with a Devotion rating greater than 6 qualifies to select an appropriate Initiate feat, but beware! Only the loyal can maintain the benefits (see chapter 12: faith and heresy).
An Initiate of a god qualifies for all of the god's Martial Combat feats and proficiencies as though they were a monk or nun of that god.
Initiate of Prometheus
Initiates of Prometheus are advocates of technology and mechanization. Recently, the faithful of Prometheus have been called upon to venture beyond even the land itself, as their god did. The Initiates of Prometheus are at the forefront of this movement, and, despite setbacks, are working on a great ship that will carry them to distant home of their god.
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Evangelical damage, and receive a bonus die on Progressive damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Prometheus feat may treat all spells with the [Fire] descriptor as spells known.
Initiate of Thor
Initiates of Thor are great hockey players, firefighters, and construction workers. Many of the strongest of Thor's Initiates compete in a continual set of wrestling tournaments held in Thor's honor - raucous spectacles that are often interrupted by other Initiates. Nevertheless, these tournaments are the cornerstone of daily worship for Thor's faithful. The ranks of Thor's Avengers are drawn from the winners of these tournaments, and to be one of Thor's Avenger's is the highest honor an Initiate of Thor can dream of.
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Slamming damage and Submission damage, and receive a bonus die on improved weapon attack rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Thor feat may treat all spells with the [Wrestling] descriptor as spells known.
Initiate of Santa Claus
Wealth is the domain of Santa Claus, so it is only proper that the Initiates of Santa Claus are among the wealthiest of all Caucasians. Following their god's example, Initiates of Santa Claus are always plump and finely dressed, and carry large bags of wealth. These bags are usually labeled to indicate the amount contained, such as 50 lbs. for a bag containing 50 pounds sterling (see chapter 4: daily life in Caucasia). Initiates of Santa Claus use these bags to smite their enemies and reward loyalty in their servants and slaves.
Benefit: Initiates of Santa Claus are immune to Frosty damage, owing to their mastery over snowy monsters, and receive a bonus die on Pragmatic damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Santa Claus feat may cast all spells with the [Sterling] descriptor as though they were two levels higher.
Venus - Goddess of Beauty
Stunning and captivating, Initiates of Venus bring joy and strife in equal measures. Regardless of what they use their talents and abilities for, Initiates of Venus are always able to bring attention to themselves. They regularly take part in strange sexual rites which are recorded and used as part of daily worship among Venus's faithful (see chapter 19: the interweb-net).
Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Psychoanalysis damage, and receive a bonus die on Binding attack rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Venus feat may treat all spells with the [Cosmetician] descriptor as spells known.
Jesus - God of the Sun
Initiates of Jesus promote the traditional ways of Caucasian culture. As the oldest Caucasian god, Jesus favors the old ways, and his Initiates fight against those who would alter them. They seek to bring the ways of the Sun God to the forefront in all things. Jesus, acting through important Caucasian leaders, regularly delivers orders and directions to his Initiates, and the Initiates of Jesus are always quick to respond.
Benefit: Initiates of Jesus are immune to Progressive damage, and receive a bonus die on Evangelical damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Jesus feat may treat all spells with the [Sun] descriptor as spells known.
The Holy Ghost: God of Death.
Initiates of The Holy Ghost have learned the secrets of time and decay, and many use this to remain perpetually young in appearance. They attempt to convert temples of other gods, most often Jesus, to their faith, and use them as the sites of their Midnight Masses and cannibalistic rituals of blood-drinking and flesh-eating. As masters of undeath, they have the power to transform ordinary matter into undead fluids and tissues. Many Initiates wear elaborate makeup, tall hats and robes, and other disguises to hide their true identities.
Benefit: Initiates of The Holy Ghost are immune to Traditional damage, and receive a bonus die on Existential damage rolls.
Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of The Holy Ghost feat may treat all spells with the [Gothic] descriptor as spells known.
[note: to keep the game accessible to most gamers, I really think we should root the classes strongly in the time-tested Caucasian classics. Now, I know we can debate endlessly as to whether Bankers or Shylocks are really more important to Caucasian culture, but let's try to move past the minutia and keep our eyes on the big picture. I've wrote up a quick introductory section for gamers who aren't familiar with the Caucasian cannon. I know these Top 3 lists always start a flamewar, but I think history has borne me out here. Anyway, we can always stick other important films, magazines, etc... in the Secondary Sources list. And yeah, I know they're all movies - but it's much quicker and easier to get a new gamer into Caucasian culture with a movie than by telling them to read a dozen books.]
Primary Sources
If you're new to Caucasian culture, don't worry! It may seem intimidating, but take the time to bone up a bit and you'll be "mixing it up" like a pro in no time. Here's the three movies that we feel best represent Caucasian culture and the Caucasian cannon. You can find them at most rental stores with a good foreign selection.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
This is a very popular movie among Caucasians, and its easy to see why: it gives a great overview of the geography of California and Virgina, with their sweeping deserts and harsh plains. The main characters are all Cowboys of various Caucasian races - Angel Eyes is a clearly a Roman, Tuco's high Insulation score marks him as a Vinlander, and Blondie's mysterious powers mark him as an Aslandian. They are all worshipers of Santa Claus, on a great quest to find a store of wealth to ensure their god's good graces. It's also an excellent depiction of authentic Caucasian fighting styles. There are also several other classes depicted, including the Soldier, Dealer, and Monk/Nun. All in all, it's a great source - go find it!
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
This wonderful movie provides two big benefits to the newcomer to Caucasian culture - plenty of information about Surfers, and an overview of Caucasian history. Two surfers, Bill and Ted, explore Caucasian history as they quest to fulfill a Prophecy of Prometheus. Since Bill and Ted themselves are both clearly worshipers of Thor, it's also a good example of how different faiths can work together in Caucasian culture. Almost every one of the core Caucasian classes and races are in this movie at some point. It's not as in-depth as the other two Primary Sources, but it makes up in breadth what it lacks in depth. We can recommend this one highly enough. Though its a bit hard to find, you should definitely take the time to seek it out. If you can find the sequel, you're in for a treat - a close encounter with The Holy Ghost himself!
Short Circuit
This movie is a passionate and controversial examination of modern Caucasia's most turbulent minority group - robots. While these second-class citizens are derided in many movies as cruel villains and dimwitted thugs, Short Circuit gives a decidedly more understanding treatment. Through a metaphoric "awakening," Johnny 5 and his non-robot peers come to understand and respect each other. In addition to exploring these all-too current cultural issues, the movie has an excellent example of a Vinlander Scientologist who helps "create" Johnny 5 (he's a worshiper of Prometheus, like many Engineers and Scientologists) and several Agents (though they keep their more interesting abilities in check).
Caucasia's material prosperity comes at a terrible price. While it may appear that merchants, artisans, and shopkeepers buy and sell freely, in truth their every action is dictated by the sorcery of the Invisible Hand. This secret society is also known as the Freemasons or the Jews: the former for their massive, foreboding temples built at no cost by conscript labor (hence "free masonry"), the latter for their secret troves of gems and jewelry. In their fortified marble vaults, or "banks," the Order holds magical "mortgages" (literally "death gauges") on almost every home in Caucasia, which they can use to cause the windows and doors to seal up, trapping the hapless inhabitants in a process known as foreclosure.
The Order of the Invisible Hand uses its power to ruin not only individual businesses that defy its will, but entire cities and even nations. Their minions, the diminutive but deadly Gnomes of Zurich, strike for double damage from behind but will flee from a face-to-face fight. Against the most serious threats, they frequently hire the heavily armed Cowboys of Big Oil.
The leadership of the Order is notoriously secretive, but key figures include the wizened oracle Alan Greenspan; the undying sorceror Paul Voldemort; the 13th-level Jew Henry Fnord, who prophesied that the people could have whatever they desired, as long as it was black; the anti-paladin warlord General Motors, notorious for declaring that whatever is good for him is good for the country; and E.F. Hutton, whose sorcery compells people to listen whenever he speaks.
Their arch-enemies are Karl Marx and his mad Marx Brothers, who along with their ally, the 10th level Bard/3rd level Ideologist John Lenin, quest endlessly to destroy the Order's its most sacred artifact, the Hand of Smith. The Hand is said to have belonged to an ancient necromancer named Adam Smith who wrote the Order's holy book, The Wealth of Nations. It is rumored that Smith made himself into a lich and still rules the Order from a secret catacomb deep beneath Wall Street in Caucasia's capital, the dread City of London.
Caucasian names can be confusing to the modern ear. Here's a handy list of names to generate an authentic-sounding caucasian name in seconds! Just roll once on each table to generate a first and last name. Optionally, you can generate a "middle" name as well.
First Names:
John
Olaf
King
Hans
Sparhawk
Smith
Frigg
A.
Archibald
Hera
Percivale
Odin
Lancelot
Elvis
Jean
Wendy
Joan
Helga
Francis
Saint
Last Names:
Chaplin
Churchill
the Conqueror
Svensdottor
of Eastwick
Hendrix
Junior
Bolton
Esq.
Stewart
O'Rielly
von Trapp
Kevin
D'eath
Difranco
from "Friends"
Man
Gabriel
and the News
Smithson