Because someone asked you to?
For example, I ask people to call me "Tappy" on the podcast. You could reply with "why? That isn't your name". While you are technically correct that it isn't my actual name, just as female can technically be used as a noun, I asked you to do so. If you refuse, that is your prerogative, but it isn't difficult or any skin off your back to call someone by a different name. Doing something like that because someone asks you to is polite, and refusing to is rather impolite. Now, you may be choosing to be impolite here on purpose, I don't know exactly why you are refusing a simple and easy to follow request from a fellow HJ listener. But when someone asks you to please refer to them in a certain way, I'm not sure why you wouldn't, unless it is intentionally derogatory or impolite to you (like, "call me 'master'" of some bullshit like that).
Which would be fine except that it isn't just about them, it's about a whole group of people. The term specified is not in fact any better than any other term and is easily used in an abusive fashion, as was pointed out in an article I found based on a search they sent me (first page too). This isn't a case of someone wishing to specify a preferred pronoun or the like. It's not as if we somehow misgendered all women when we called them female and we had to be corrected because they are infact males and wish to be called "Sir".
This isn't a matter of respect, it's a matter of control. I won't allow my right to choose words to be subsumed by people who seem to change their mind constantly. I'm not saying EricaOdd does, but that it happens in general. There seems to be no correct answer, and I'm tired of being vilified for trying. No offense was intended. If someone read some kind of malice in my words, well I can't really help that. If someone can present to me a good reason why I should change, I'm more than willing. Do bear in mind that any reason given doesn't necessarily constitute a good one.
I don't think is is at all fair to ask a group that encompasses 3.7 BILLION people to agree on terms that are appropriate for them. Or is the problem that you are being corrected, and you don't like it? It certainly seems that way when you write "it's a matter of control". No one is "controlling" you when they are asking you to please be polite.
I also don't think you are necessarily "misgendering" anyone when you use "female" instead of "woman". I think you may be layering your frustrations with another topic on top of this. However it DOES give a good example to this problem.
Example 1
Person 1: Hello, Sir!
Person 2: Um, I'm actually a woman, could you please refer to me as such?
Person 1: Hey, it's not MY fault you look like a man! I'm so tired of being vilified for something that isn't my fault. I'm not being rude, I'm just saying it as it is!!! Unless someone can give me a good reason as to WHY I need to use different pronouns I'm not changing anything. You don't have control over MY speech.
Example the second
Person 1: Hello, sir!
Person 2: Um, I'm actually a woman, could you please refer to me as such?
Person 1: Oh, ok. Hello, Ma'am!
I don't think you are being vilified for using a term that someone doesn't like... but I do think you kinda look like a jerk for being upset about it and refusing. Is your exception to being asked to change how you are speaking relating to the words themselves or to the idea that people are telling you that you are being rude when you don't think you are?
What it seems that you are saying here is that the term (female) is not offensive
to you. Well, sure, that term may seem inoffensive to you, but you are also not a member of the group in question. So you don't really get to decide if it is offensive to them.
It is perfectly cromulent for someone to say "this term that refers to a group I am in offends me, please don't use it". It is also perfectly cromulent for someone to say "this term that some people in my group find offensive does not offend me". So it may take some time to figure out which words to use with which people. However since we can learn peoples NAMES, which are relatively unique, I don't think it is beyond our capacity to learn which words to use with which people. All it takes is the willingness, when told someone's preference, to use it.
No one expects you to magically know anyone's name upon first meeting them, but there is a level of expectation that you might remember that name. Sometimes we have to introduce ourselves a few times, and that is ok too. But flying into a rage about how someone is trying to control your speech by telling you what name to call them would be considered to be crazypants.
Hell, I have at least 4 different nicknames in use in different groups. Some people are member of several, or even all of those groups. Through trial and error they learned that I am called different things in different places. Sometimes they use the wrong name, and I correct them. It is ok, these things can be confusing. When I remind them that in THIS group I am called "Tappy" while in this other group I am called legal (pronounced leg-ow) they say "ooh right" and change it. No harm no foul. Flipping out about it and taking personal offence WOULD be a foul, and I would probably re-think my friendship with them.
"Do bear in mind that any reason given doesn't necessarily constitute a good one."
This appears to mean "I am not going to change my mind, because I do not think there is a good reason to change. This is because if I thought a reason DID exist, I would have probably already changed since I am a reasonable person". I do hope you reconsider. I don't think the problems is getting a "good enough reason" I think you are approaching this from a different angle. The problem isn't that you were knowingly being rude when you first said "female". We all know you were not. I used to say "female" all the time in college, because I was in ROTC and that is just how people said things in the culture I was in. But if I took personal offense that someone was offended by what "I" considered to be an innocuous term, then doubled down on it, then it becomes a real problem.
It more is of a culture shock problem.
Like if you were told at a very nice Japanese restaurant that it was considered to be rude to stab your chopsticks down into your rice, you would probably not do so... even if you knew Japanese people who didn't care and/or would do just that. If you instead took offense that someone said something you did was rude because "how could you know" and stabbed not only your chopsticks into your rice, but encouraged everyone else at your table to do the same, then demanded a "good" reason not to do so, you would be a right dickhead.
If you went to a very nice steakhouse and were very loud and obnoxious, you might be asked to quiet down. If you didn't think you were loud and obnoxious by
your standard, and ignored the warning, you would probably be thrown out. It doesn't matter that "other" restaurants didn't think that behavior was rude, it was in the restaurant you were in. Since you ignored the new information, you would be rightly judged to be rude and treated accordingly. However if you took the new information to heart and quieted down, everyone in the restaurant would be very appreciative and consider you to be a polite individual.
I hope that makes sense. It isn't about a "good enough" reason, it is looking at it in the right cultural context.
Ok, I think I have beaten this horse enough here.