bobcatt
Apprentice Douchebag
Patron
An infinite number of monkeys can't be wrong...
Posts: 81
Preferred Game Systems: AD&D 1e, 2e, 5e, Top Secret/S.I., Classic Traveller
Currently Playing: nothing at all :-(
Currently Running: completely stalled doing 5e via Roll20
Favorite Species of Monkey: Barrel of
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Post by bobcatt on Jun 4, 2018 13:30:21 GMT -8
Hello Jackers,
All the horror stories I've heard so far have been about the guys at the table behaving badly, either saying or acting out something inexcusable during a session.
When I left RPGs in ~1995, there were still very few females women involved (at least in my region). I can only recall seeing five at our sessions over 15 years of very active gaming to that point. In the last 36 months, I've already participated in game sessions with six females women, and I only get out two or three times per year. I am pleased (and relieved) that there were no unpleasant incidents during these occasions, recognising that both myself and any of my male acquaintances at the time were fully capable of behaving badly, but managed not to.
That said, has anyone been at a table where the opposite was true, where it wasn't a rude, crude, dude acting like a jerk that created a bona fide horrific situation?
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Post by Kimi on Aug 9, 2018 23:04:56 GMT -8
Hello Jackers, All the horror stories I've heard so far have been about the guys at the table behaving badly, either saying or acting out something inexcusable during a session. When I left RPGs in ~1995, there were still very few females involved (at least in my region). I can only recall seeing five at our sessions over 15 years of very active gaming to that point. In the last 36 months, I've already paricipated in game sessions with six females, and I only get out two or three times per year. I am pleased (and relieved) that there were no unpleasant incidents during these occasions, recognising that both myself and any of my male acquaintances at the time were fully capable of behaving badly, but managed not to. That said, has anyone been at a table where the opposite was true, where it wasn't a rude crude dude acting like a jerk that created a bona fide horrific situation? I've never had a horror story in HJ flavor. I've played with bad or selfish non-male players, but nothing that would make me get up from the table and leave. I have found convenient excuses to suddenly not be available for the rest of a campaign...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2018 0:56:26 GMT -8
The female players I have played FFG's star wars games with have been the reason I have left those games or been unhappy, full stop. They have exhibited selfish/stuck up behavior on a level that is staggering. The most recent case is a female player who AFK'd half the session on the phone, then came back in the final scene and tried (and succeeded) at sabotaging the whole session/game.
To be 100% transparent, we all had agreed to take an unsavory job because we needed the money. We were at the hand off when she discovered this fact (due to being afk on the phone). She then proceeded to try and pull the most spectacular bullshit (getting the clients ship to spontaneously explode with a light side point). The GM didn't allow it and instead required her to shoot a fuel line for a lesser explosion, which she did. This of course pissed off the whole group, because we had all agreed to do the job and she thought she could take a giant shit on us at the end of the game (that she was fucking ignoring while on her call!).
Next session she lied about what she did, trying to claim she wasn't there for the session where we took the job (she was) among other things. Then she threw a hissy fit about morality in star wars and essentially tried to berate us because she did the "star wars" thing in trying to stop the exchange of a slave to the empire. At which we all pointed out that not even the jedi order could just walk onto a planet and free slaves just because they wanted to (Quigon Jin had to win Anakin in a bet). We further had to explain that this was Edge of the Empire and though no one liked it, to quote Mal, "Had a mighty strong need to eat sometime this month."
So instead of finishing the job and moving on next session, we ended up getting a second session ruined by the aftermath of her bullshit (which was the conclusion of the prior session). This isn't the first time she's done something like this either.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't mean all female players are somehow the worst. I do mean to say that they aren't magical unicorns who can do no wrong. Gaming isn't inherently improved by a female presence. It's improved by good gamers of any gender. I'd rather be without females if the options are bad female players or no female players.
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Post by EricaOdd on Aug 20, 2018 2:43:03 GMT -8
Yes. I've been in a game with a poorly-behaved, petulant, entitled, whiny woman who's behavior was rewarded by a GM who for some reason had the hots for her. She always got what she wanted, and threw a childish fit if she didn't. He was late 60s, she was early 20s, and she absolutely owned him, despite them (to my knowledge) never dating or having any kind of relationship beyond the game table. It was awful. I will not sit at a game table with her or him again.
He tried the same crap with me, the only other woman at the table, but I shut it down pretty quick. A) I'm in a quite committed relationship, B) I wasn't interested in him, and C) that crap won't fly with me. Don't heap magic items and favors on my character because I'm a woman. It's creepy, dude.
And also... here and elsewhere... please use "female" only as an adjective and not a noun. Thanks.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2018 22:30:16 GMT -8
Why? It is a noun.
I'm all for being respectful, but it seems there is no okay term for just about anyone these days. The term is not derogatory or being used as some sort of weapon. Frankly, it seems like most other options are just traps.
All the above said, don't tell me what not to say. It's not helpful. Tell me what you prefer (and perhaps even why that is). Then I can feel like this is less of a game which doesn't resolve as a lose-lose for me.
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Post by EricaOdd on Aug 23, 2018 1:03:48 GMT -8
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2018 1:27:42 GMT -8
I didn't find either of these articles compelling. I take it that what you would prefer would be 'woman'. Bear in mind, that descriptor does not actually fit all females (since it is dependent on age, something people online typically don't know about each other). I would use the more casual girls (just like I would say someone is hanging out with the boys), but people love to take offense whenever possible. Hence females gets used as the most sterile title possible(but that offends someone else, surprise surprise).
tldr: There is no winning.
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Post by EricaOdd on Aug 23, 2018 2:36:08 GMT -8
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fredrix
Master Douchebag
Posts: 2,142
Preferred Game Systems: Fate, L5R, Pendragon, Gumshoe, Feng Shui
Currently Playing: Pendragon, Song of Ice and Fire, L5R, Feng Shui, Traveller
Currently Running: Fate, Coriolis, Nights Black Agents
Favorite Species of Monkey: 1970's NTV, dubbed by the BBC (though The Water Margin beats it)
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Post by fredrix on Aug 23, 2018 2:50:30 GMT -8
All very compelling reasons, and your allusion to Ferengi is apposite, because I equate the use of female as a noun with property and livestock. I have breed dogs and saying “How much for the female?” when buying a puppy is a bit like saying “How much for the bitch?" Both PEREFECTLY acceptable when buying a puppy but, I suggest, not a way to talk about your fellow humans. I am only seeing your side of the discussion, because I block your co-respondent anyway after a previous flamewar, but it’s not rocket science.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2018 1:10:34 GMT -8
First thing: The original post talked about females in gaming. Not all gaming is done by adults, so women is not a category that applies to them all. On the other hand, there are no other animals besides humans which play roleplaying games, so by context we can be sure the OP meant people and not hamsters.
Our barbarous age? Are your kidding me? And this article I quoted even understands that "woman" used to be something you called your wife when you were angry with her. Finding people who also share your opinion (even 52 million of them), does not mean it is correct. Someone will decide tomorrow that woman is offensive and they wish to be called something else. It's madness.
As to the whole "woman means human and female could mean animals" thing, really? No one gets confused and thinks someone else is talking about a dog when they use the word "Bitch", which is 100% the word for female dogs. This feels like finding something to be offended about where no offense was ever meant. There exists lots of slang that is meant to be dehumanizing to women. Female does not seem to fit in that category. The people who want to dehumanize women are much more likely to reach for one of those terms (and there are plenty to chose between) instead of trying to find something non-offensive to call you.
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Post by EricaOdd on Aug 24, 2018 2:31:26 GMT -8
Calling us "females" reduces us to our gender, as though nothing else matters. There are other adjectives you can use depending on age, and you know that I'm sure.
But once again you're not going to change my mind, and I'm not going to change yours. For me, this discussion is done. I've said my piece, answered you when you asked why, and provided examples. There's no need to keep going on this.
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tomes
Supporter
Hello madness
Posts: 1,438
Currently Running: Dungeon World, hippie games, Fallout Shelter RPG hack
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Post by tomes on Aug 24, 2018 14:57:17 GMT -8
"Now don't get me wrong. I don't mean all [Lindenstein] players are somehow the worst. I do mean to say that they aren't magical unicorns who can do no wrong. Gaming isn't inherently improved by a [Lindenstein] presence. It's improved by good gamers of any [nationality]. I'd rather be without [Lindensteiners] if the options are bad [Lindensteiners] players or no [Lindensteiners] players."
Sure. Valid. But it sure sounds like you have something to grind against Lindensteiners. If I was from Lindenstein and heard this, it's a pretty nice warning sign to avoid that table.
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Post by ayslyn on Aug 24, 2018 15:31:31 GMT -8
Only when taken completely out of context, Tomes.
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tomes
Supporter
Hello madness
Posts: 1,438
Currently Running: Dungeon World, hippie games, Fallout Shelter RPG hack
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Post by tomes on Aug 24, 2018 15:36:44 GMT -8
Only when taken completely out of context, Tomes. Yep. Or sometimes in context. That too. Flags aren't always accurate. But flags be flags!
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Post by EricaOdd on Aug 24, 2018 15:51:43 GMT -8
To clarify, "female player," "female gamer," "female character," are all ok. Female as an adjective when you need to make that distinction for whatever reason is fine. It's "female" by itself that feels dismissive.
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