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Post by Stu Venable on Sept 24, 2014 21:22:44 GMT -8
Soon.
For those of you who don't follow me on Facebook (where this all just went public), I'll repeat it here.
I spent the last month trying my best to save my marriage. This morning Heather told me she wants a divorce. I've been devastated for a month trying to save our marriage, and this morning I was devastated again. This evening we told our kids. Since my daughter's 9 and has lots of friends she talks to on the phone, I decided to go public with it.
One of the reasons I was afraid to of the show is because my "filter" is not working, and I didn't know what I might say.
Today, that matters less.
I might try to do the show Friday. It's NOT pod fading. If I can, I will. It might not be live streamed, cause I don't know if I can do that yet. We'll see.
I doubt it'll happen in this community, but I'll repeat what I said on Facebook: there's a tendency for people to "take sides." It happened in my first divorce, people thought they were supporting one of us by attacking the other. It didn't help me or my first wife.
Same here, but now there are two children involved as well. There are four good people hurting tonight. It makes no sense to cause more hurt with rumor and vitriol. If you don't know my wife, please don't contact her.
Soon the show will start back up, and I'll start gaming again. Probably more than ever. And I'll do my best to make the show better than ever.
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fredrix
Master Douchebag
Posts: 2,142
Preferred Game Systems: Fate, L5R, Pendragon, Gumshoe, Feng Shui
Currently Playing: Pendragon, Song of Ice and Fire, L5R, Feng Shui, Traveller
Currently Running: Fate, Coriolis, Nights Black Agents
Favorite Species of Monkey: 1970's NTV, dubbed by the BBC (though The Water Margin beats it)
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Post by fredrix on Sept 24, 2014 21:33:07 GMT -8
Aw shit man,that's tough on you all. Best wishes to you, Heather, and the kids while you sort this all out.
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Post by ayslyn on Sept 24, 2014 21:51:40 GMT -8
Well.... Fiddle....
That seriously sucks. My thoughts and prayers go out to all four of you. As a child of divorce, I totally understand how this can impact everyone involved.
I completely respect and approve the higher road you're aiming for. And even if I weren't already disinclined toward the totally crazy behavior you're discouraging us from....
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Post by lowkeyoh on Sept 24, 2014 21:58:35 GMT -8
Really sorry to hear this. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you stay as well as one can in such a situation, Stu
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snoman314
Journeyman Douchebag
Posts: 225
Preferred Game Systems: GURPS
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Post by snoman314 on Sept 24, 2014 23:21:53 GMT -8
Well, fuck. All I can say is I wish your family all the best. Hang in there dude.
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HyveMynd
Supporter
Dirty hippie, PbtA, Fate, & Cortex Prime <3er
Posts: 2,273
Preferred Game Systems: PbtA, Cortex Plus, Fate, Ubiquity
Currently Playing: Monsterhearts 2
Currently Running: The Sprawl
Favorite Species of Monkey: None
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Post by HyveMynd on Sept 25, 2014 2:33:05 GMT -8
Well shit. Here I thought someone had gotten seriously, but not dangerously ill. I'm really sorry to hear that Stu Venable. Do whatever it is you need to do to be OK. If that means gaming and doing the show, cool. If it means not doing the show for a while, that's cool too. We'll be here entertaining ourselves until you're OK. That's the most important thing here.
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SirGuido
Supporter
Drizztmas Santa
Ask me about the Drizztmas Exchange!
Posts: 2,127
Preferred Game Systems: L5R, Traveller, Fate Accelerated, Masks
Currently Playing: Nothing.
Currently Running: Nothing.
Favorite Species of Monkey: Anything in a Cage.
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Post by SirGuido on Sept 25, 2014 3:59:23 GMT -8
Like HyveMynd I also thought someone had fallen ill and was hoping for a speedy recovery. Now I wish I had been right.
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Post by Houndin on Sept 25, 2014 4:34:47 GMT -8
My sympathies to all of you. Life can be hard sometimes, and as I always tell my gaming group real life trumps gaming. For me, I hope that it all ends amicably for you and Heather and that the kids come out ok.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Post by malifer on Sept 25, 2014 5:54:56 GMT -8
I recently had a terrible time this summer and gaming took the brunt of it. But an awesome person told me to take care myself and they would be there when I was ready. So as I am now on the road to recovery I'll say the same to you. Much love to you Stu Venable and your family.
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Post by CreativeCowboy on Sept 25, 2014 6:06:02 GMT -8
When my parents separated, and stayed separated until one died 29 years later because neither one wanted a divorce so they could move on with their relationship/life, it did not affect me as much as grown ups thought. I was brought up by my dad and he always told me to love and respect my mom. And I had free access to both - after the acrimonious custody battle, the consequential dirty tricks after the judge's ruling, and the fact that people do eventually realise life moves on even if they are change adverse. When my dad died, suddenly while I was in Poland, my mom was at his hospital bedside. Ironic that, eh? Anyways, I am sure divorce affects everyone differently. That's the reason I mention my case. It wasn't all Jeremiads.
The unknown horror, the one that invites the imagination to participate, tends to be scarier than the gory reality IME.
My condolences to you as your relationship changes. I do not know how that feels for you. I do hope you and Heather can remain friends through the process of change, that the love, respect and communication you share continue under whatever new arrangement the future has in store for you with the mother of your children. Your children will always love you, and look to you.
The hardest part of my exile in Poland has been the loss of friendships. So I would stress keeping close to friends and gaming with them whenever possible so that a cast of positive fellows like Windy Drawers can occupy as much of your imagination as time will allow. Make time to enjoy some innocent fun through the change.
Sincerely.
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Post by Kainguru on Sept 25, 2014 8:22:34 GMT -8
Stu Venable: I figured it was Real Life having priority, but never guessed it was so dramatically personal. Having your 'filters' down is totally expected and electing not to live stream shows remarkable foresight, given the circumstances. As child of divorce, like so many previous posters, the issue for the children is less the actual divorce but rather the amicability (of lack thereof) between the parents afterwards. Society has moved on much since I was a child and I find that the fluid dynamics of the modern family are far more tolerant of the social circumstances common in divorces. Most probably because there are so many children from such circumstances from earlier generations actively promoting more positive and constructive attitudes. As Houndin says 'real life trumps gaming' . . . but when the dust has settled 'gaming can be a cushion against the bruises left by real life' . . . Aaron
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Post by shadrack on Sept 25, 2014 9:14:16 GMT -8
My thoughts are with you and yours.
I'm bad at emoting (in general, not just in text, everything ends up sounding like a platitude) so I'll just try to send supportive thoughts through the ether in the hopes that they make it over to Cali.
Try to take care of yourself man, it may sound easy, but too often it's not.
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Post by yojimbohawkins on Sept 25, 2014 11:18:11 GMT -8
Well shit. That sucks, fella, for all concerned. Best wishes all round.
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Post by muntjack on Sept 25, 2014 12:13:08 GMT -8
Very sorry to hear about you and your family's recent troubles. The community isn't going anywhere, so take as much time as needed.
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Post by Fiona on Sept 25, 2014 12:47:49 GMT -8
I'm sorry Stu. Truly. All I can say is that we'll be here. You just take care of yourself and your kids.
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